In some of these cases, he said, the issues tend to fester for many years, and then occasionally somebody becomes injured, or there’s an accident or somebody dies. In his career as a pastor, Stanley said he has heard about many occasions when people in various forms of relationships let distance, brokenness or problems go unresolved. Starting a relationship is somewhat intuitive, managing or navigating a relationship, but fixing a relationship isn’t only not intuitive, it is the opposite of intuitive,” Stanley continued. The same thing is true when it comes to relationships. You can start it, you can drive it, but when something goes wrong you really don’t know what to do. “We are better at starting our cars than repairing our cars. “You just offended them without even meaning to, because fixing and repairing or reassembling a relationship - whether it’s been broken long term or short term or a minor infraction - is not intuitive, and we just intuitively reach for all the wrong tools and we say all the wrong things,” he said. What I said wouldn’t have offended most people," he contended. Oftentimes, he said, people aren’t even aware that they are using the four components on others.įor example, Stanley said that people often say, “I’m sorry if I offended you." But, that is often translated to mean, “You’re too easily offended. And besides that, I just don’t even care.’ Or, we just keep pressing and pressing, trying to fix the relationship the wrong way, which means things continue to go wrong and we end up pushing people even further ,” he explained. “Then, you tell yourself, ‘there’s nothing I can do about it. “The strange thing is, you look at and you say ‘yeah, that’s not the way forward,' but, in spite of all that, these are the things we almost always reach for first either intentionally or even unintentionally,” Stanley said. These components, he said, are not effective solutions to solving relationship issues. These are, convince, convict, coerce and control. There are four components that people tend to revert to in situations when arguments arise in broken relationships, according to Stanely. Stanley identified how to handle “fractured” or “distant” relationships between friends, siblings, family, relatives, coworkers, spouses, parents with children and any other relationships. It just seems like we should be able to do this, but it is difficult and that’s why I decided we really do need to talk about it.” “The odd thing about this is, it doesn’t seem like it would be that difficult to fix a relationship. “ saw things his way … I could not understand for the life of me why we weren’t making any progress,” Stanley said. Both men, he said, had spent their entire careers as experts telling other people how to fix “broken” and “damaged” relationships. 24 sermon series titled “Reassembly Required A Beginners Guide to Repairing Broken Relationships,” Stanley revealed that nearly three decades ago, he felt “angry and hurt” every week, sitting with his father in an office at church receiving counseling sessions.Īt that time, Stanley said he found it “strange” that he and his father were feeling “stuck,” trying to fix difficulties in their relationship. Pastor Andy Stanley of Atlanta's North Point Community Church reflected on his past struggles with a “broken” relationship with his father, famed evangelist Charles Stanley, and offered biblical advice for restoring fractured relationships. Andy Stanley of Atlanta’s evangelical North Point Community Church | North Point Community Church Sermon/ Screengrab
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